Palm readers read upside-down

"The nails in the hand of a person reflect his fate."

I wonder why cow pies are gross and shepherd's pie is tasty. How cannibalistic is that?

I never dreamed that I would let go

Today there was a booth giving away free smoothies to trick people into liking the Honor Code. I took one to trick them into thinking that I like the Honor Code.

Now, I don't consider myself the rebellious type by anyone's standards. Before BYU I felt I had a healthy respect for the HC, proudly stabbing my signature in endorsement as I mailed my application letter. I think my perception of the document became skewed when I discovered by unfortunate experience that it was less virtuous and more condemnable to have a sick man in your house past twelve than to NCMO outside the determining residential doors. I guess what happens in Provo canyon, stays in Provo canyon. But what happens inside past midnight turns your mate into more than just a pumpkin; it turns him and those contaminated by his presence into perpetrators, subject to interrogation by the inhabitants of the infamous fourth floor of the Wilk. Your interrogator acts your spokesman in your subsequent trial, in which your presence is not required, and your academic fate is turned over to a committee, whose faces you will never know (unless you look them up on the official HC website).

I had a hard time deciding between strawberry and blueberry, but ultimately decided to go with strawberry due to its more soothing color.

We seem to leave so much up to fate.
"Maybe I'll see you again for another crossword."

So why am I inside on such a lovely day? To blog and learn the art of crossword puzzles.

Harry Potter is not a false idol: he's a hero.

Maksim.

The ender will save us all

I was surprised...
I was puzzled by a dream...

If I thought my audience were more curious, I'd use hints instead of saying things on purpose. The theory behind is that only those who really want to know would find out. Too bad nobody else is as curious as I am. Heck, I may have just made this blog secret and led a bread crumb trail to it, just to be sure my readers were worthy. Would you condescend to help me?...
Desperation is the devil's work...

I'm learning some Spanish from Lost. I don't notice myself reading the subtitles, but I think I could take a basic Spanish test and pass. Heck, I could do better than that; I could even move to California.

I've been told I should tell myself what I'm supposed to and supposed not to feel. I'm also told people are supposed to know how I feel instead of my being so stoic. Am I stoic? Last I checked, people think I'm not in control of my emotions. Anyway, I decided I have too many excuses and I'm going to complain one last time, and then I'll do that thing where I fix what bothers me. I'm good at that.

...Like I never occurred.

Sometimes I get that slight bit of bitterness in the back of my throat. I didn't even like him; I wonder how horrible it must taste to those who love and lose.

And the worst thing about using a laptop at night is having to squish bugs against the screen.
And on worse note, I felt something in my hairline just where my widow's peak would lie if I had one; I pulled out an ant.

A few of my favorite things

The best thing in Provo is a broken sprinkler. They are quite different from other sprinklers in the city as any wetness that one receives from them was purely by choice. I believe this makes the water much sweeter. I've only experienced the joys of these sprinklers in the dark, and, due to the limitation of my rods, I am unable to tell what color the water is, though, I imagine it to be a pale pink color. The water pressure is impressive - much greater than those colorful mushrooms at the amusement parks, and the display they create is astounding. The water creates complete arc: it starts at ground level and is emitted several times higher than a person and returns again with a hard, loud impact.

Lack of shower for the day: Corrected.

Make me cry

I think I'd rather my rat have died, since they don't seem to enjoy me. It's not that I was so upset that it died, just the look on its face when it couldn't breathe: the look of fear garnished with pain.

I lied I hated who I was

"What's this charge from Petsmart?"
'Oh. My friend didn't want to tell her mom that she got some rats - '
"Is that friend you?"
'No...'
"Oh, because Kim said you got some rats."
'Okay, Yeah.'

Feel the sunlight

I discovered two of the most amazing things the other day.

The first thing is taking something mildly fun and turning it to the extreme under the assumption that it is safe. For instance, the other day I discovered spinning computer chairs in the LRC. I realized that there's a point where you physically cannot spin any faster, which varies depending on strength and dexterity. However, there is no limit to the time you spin. At a certain point in lengthy spinning sessions, you begin to get the sensation that you are actually slowly drifting in the opposite direction in which you are actually are. With eyes closed, the sensation is intensified until your body becomes so disoriented that it can no longer keep pushing the same direction. This becomes apparent when you suddenly jerk to a stop. It's quite satisfying.

The second amazing thing that I discovered, I like to call "Chi Biking." This consists of a non-action form of action - a little something I like to compare to Wu-wei. For best form, the feet should be equal on the pedals and completely relaxed. One form dictates that hands rest lightly on the handle bars. This causes the body to lean forward letting gravity have its effect. Another more advanced form calls for the body to be slightly more straight, concentrating on one's core to steer instead of hands. I find the latter is more effective when one feels comfortable with the Chi.

I've been told I should get used to be a schmuck, but I just don't see how schmuck's can be happy with themselves.

Your aspriations to shreds

The last few days I've been sick. I think the name for it would be something like afluoxitinosis (it's all Latin, folks). The distinguishing symptoms include acting and feeling socially awkward. I had quite an acute case, and it definitely put me under the weather, but I think I'm finally recovering. I had a minor fit last night at dinner, but, other than that, I've been feeling great. In any case, I have a date Friday night, so I'm hoping to feel better by then.

Honestly, there's nothing like crummy health to help you appreciate the good times. I decided to celebrate, I would buy a pet rat or mouse or small reptile. No, I haven't informed my parents of my decision yet. It was about 3:00 in the morning SMT (5:00am EST), and I thought they might could use a good night's sleep before I told them. Besides, I was hoping to have this be like a surprise without the surprise part. Maybe something like the 5th amendment.

I didn't, however, feel as inhibited to call my friends. I needed somebody to go with me today to pick them up, as I'm not sure how they'd feel about bike trips. I called up Jenn and left a message something like "Maybe you're half awake now, so I'll try calling again." I did, and Jenn confirmed my message. It took her a little bit to come up with a time that she could join me in my adventure, but eventually we decided on 2:30. I called Dave, too, and on the second call, he also picked up. I couldn't understand half the words he said, but I think I got the feeling that he wanted to go back to sleep for some reason. Next I decided to call my brother, David. I called him twice then left a disappointed message. I called him one more time to ask him not to mention what time I called at to the parents, and to my surprise, he had turned his phone off! Weird.

In other exciting news, I went to my dumb Nursing 180 class, where I discovered I still want to be a nurse (surprise). I went to the nursing advisement place and was informed that I can apply to the nursing program under the old program! I'm excited because that means I have a pretty good chance of getting in. They only take grades from certain classes, all of which I have A's in.

I want to write a song. I'll see if Dave has any time.

Two more hours, and then I'll meet my new friends.

A day in the life

My occupation as a loose change collector seems to be much more lucrative in Flordia. Between the kids asking me to "hold [their] monies" and Mom's car, I've made almost a dollar in profits.

BYU's web page caught me off guard. All my life I've wondered why they would call a flag "half-mass" when something bad happens. After all, I was taught that mass is constant. On BYU's web page, I read the phrase "half staff," a presumed alternative. I decided to casually discuss this with my parents. "how long do they keep the flag at half mass? ...Why do they call it that anyway?" They explained to me that the flag pole is called a staff and then decided they didn't understand what I meant.

A shirt made me laugh so much I almost bought it. It had a repetitious pattern like the style is. I guess I didn't realize how popularized skulls have become since I left for Provo. This shirt had Mickey heads and skulls.

It's a lucious mix of words and tricks

Recently I've had lots of good things to blog about - plenty of interesting experiences and the like - but I haven't had much time. Saturday was finally a chill day, so what did I do? I stole Mom's wordsearch book and Ben's pen and went to work. Some of those wordsearches were pretty tricky, too. One theme was words that have "um" in them. That one was a bummer - no pun intended. I'm in the middle of a pretty cool puzzle (one with each word having a single bend in it), and my niece and nephew start calling me to come upstairs. I know they're up to no go for a few reasons. They were previously wound up before banished to the upstairs, they were giggling and said they had something to show me, and they're Rachel and William. I politely yelled back that I would come upstairs when I finished my bendy wordsearch, but knew they wouldn't be that patient. Either the surprise would come to me, or it would fizzle out. That was the plan until my sister gave me a stunning visual of my suitcase's contents strewn about the upper level of our condo. Then I yelled that I was coming and that they better not be playing with my stuff. I heard much more giggling and some running about. When I turned the corner, I was greeted warmly with several smacks from pillows. I was amazed at how long pillows are these days because although my niece is about half my height, I'm pretty sure she hit whacked me in the head a few times.
Of course, the story doesn't end with the poor aunt brutally beaten by her own kin. I tried peacefully taking their pillows, but they kept getting more, and more and more, until suddenly I had quite a stack to rest on. William thought this meant he could jump on me, but I soon corrected him with several martial arts like maneuvers. A simple Judo flip (of course followed by laughter) and I had him in my grips. It took him a while to realize he was stuck, but after he did, I performed the flying panda, which he found equally amusing.
All in all, I agreed to eat a raisin if they would clean up their mess, and, thankfully (in one way), they didn't.

How to Disappear Completely

Ingredients:
Backpack
Water
Chapstick
Cellphone
Notebook
Pen
Book
Long walk

Directions:
Silence the cellphone. Place the water, chapstick, cellphone, notebook, pen, and book in the interior of the backpack. Take the long walk and continue at a pleasant pace until desired amount of solitude and comfort is found. Garnish with contents of backpack.

If I had more time.

Can I exfoliate? My skin exfoliates and my skin is part of me, so can't I exfoliate? My arm bruises; therefore I bruise.
Anyway, my loofah is very soft; I don't think I exfoliate enough.

Where are the hats?

My favorite thing about leaving Utah has been trying new things. There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of missed.
Pumpkin pie
Buying clothes with friends
Working out
Running
Doing laundry
Going to the movies
...Just to name a few.
Eating donuts is another one of them. I had this thing where I said I didn't like something, and nobody really refuted it. A lot of times I had just never tried it, but I didn't tell people that. Recently we made a trip to Krispy Kreme. I had never been inside a Krispy Kreme. We were offered three classic donuts for free from the bakery. My stomach cringed as it normally did when I think about eating donuts, but I felt the social pressure and decided to eat it anyway. And you know what?...It was good. I asked Ruthie if I could pay her back in creamery money and she agreed to buy me a raspberry filled and an apple filled. I saved them for morning.

I thought they would be safe, but somewhere in the three hours I slept, somebody ate my apple-filled.
I left my hat, the only remaining memento of this occasion, at Ruthie's.

I'd write it all

My days tend to have trends. Yesterday was bleeding. Honestly, I bleed three times. First, my lip bled at a slight brush. I believe I was in the process of applying facial lotion; I had worked my way from my cheeks to my chin, which caused a slight disruption on the surface of my lower lip. At this point, I was startled to find my reflection accumulating a large red bubble. I might have freaked out a little bit. I called Jules once and Carolyn twice as I knew they both had experience with chapstick and the like. Soon after, the bleeding ceased, and I regained my composure. I did a little research and determined that the best solution would be a chapstick for a while.
Next, I was in the piano room with Carolyn. We started messing around singing tenor and bass. BAM! Blood. Gross! Who gets bloody noses from singing? I mean, the last two times I got a bloody nose I had, what I believe to be, legitimate excuses - blunt trauma. Since when is singing traumatic? (Don't answer...)
Finally, Jules and I thought it'd be cool to design our own shoes. The conflict? Canvas is hecka thick. As I attempted my first stitch, I stabbed myself with the backside of the needle. I thought needles only had one pointy end.
I feel fragile. Don't touch me; I might cootie-fy you with my antigen-abundant erythrocytes.
Today my theme is disruptions.
This morning I had a hard time waking up. I'm pretty sure my roommate has good reason to dislike me now. I set Bob for 7:57, but kept snoozing. I do believe my roommate complained. I turned it off. At 9:30, my phone rang. At this point, I figured I missed my class and Ruthie was calling to ask why.

"Hello?"
'This is a telemarketing...blah blah blah....local newspaper-"

/sigh

Who reads the local paper?

I checked my cellphone, and it was definitely on vibrate. Weird...did I imagine the whole thing? I didn't really mind as long as I still made it to class in time for the quiz.
Flash forward; I'm sitting in physiology. We have a sub who's teaching about the cardiovascular system so I'm guiltlessly listening to my ipod with one ear. Suddenly I hear a familiar tune, but I hear it in with my free ear. For once in my life, I didn't silence my cellphone, and I definitely didn't put it in it's correct spot either. I picked up and hung up. I figured then if it wasn't important they wouldn't call back; however, I didn't want to chance it so I set my phone to vibrate. Some fifteen minutes later, my phone starts vibrating. I was sitting on the end and near the front so I dashed for the exit. (It's not fair! I can't see who's calling, and if I miss a call, it's gone.)
"Hello?"
-Sorry we missed your call. This is a telemarketing blah bla- 'Hello?'
/click
A real voice! That was close.
Apparently what I didn't realize as I left the room was our sub's attempt to keep me interested in the subject matter with a meager, "It gets better." According to Ruthie, the class thought my oblivion was amusing.
It was about 2 minutes before the break when I had this encounter, so I didn't return to class. I hiked to the library to work on my handout for my four o'clock class. I sneezed quite a few times; people began to look at me. I was chillaxing to some good songs when I was surprised to hear my phone softly ring. I thought it was odd that so many people would watch me leave; the ring tone wasn't that loud. For some reason, my phone didn't pick up, so I blindly called whoever it was back.
"Hello?"
'Hey, what's up?'
"Not much. Did you call?"
'Like frickin' five times!'
...
After the conversation I returned to my seat. I gathered some nerve and asked a nearby occupant if my phone had rung more than once. With an awkward laugh, he confirmed that it had, indeed, rung numerous times.

I bet Peter ate his bologna

"The use of nitrates and nitrites as preservatives in foods such as bologna and hot dogs is a cause of concern because of their conversion to nitrous acid in the body and possible damage to DNA."
Check it! Oscar Meyer is contributing to the evolution of homosapiens. Maybe I should write them and inform them...

I wish I was smart

And the most ridiculous thing I've read today?

"A snRNA molecule is always found complexed with proteins in particles called small nuclear ribonucleoprotein particles, which are usually called snRNPs (pronounced 'snurps')...'Snurps' always further collect together into larger complexes called sliceosomes." (bold emphasis added)

What fool decided these things? Honestly. I just keep imagining the discoverer at some formal press conference announcing to the world the discovery of snurps and sliceosomes. ZI suppose there are a fair share of intellectual genius's that give objects names we normal people would deem absurd. IQ tests, for instance employ such original names as I"Wicks," "Slicks," and "Snicks."

" If all Zips are Zoodles, and all Zoodles are Zonkers, then all Zips are definitely Zonkers."

If only I were smart; then I'd understand.

I will keep calling you to see...

My roommate's cell phone has rung over 10 times. It's killing me. It's not even a good tune. Plus, I'm slightly envious; Mine didn't ring today.
(Finally, a voicemail.)
And...another ring. I'm going to silence her phone. I'm so close to it. I can feel it.

When angels deserve to die

Sometimes I creep myself out; this one time I was listening to "Destination Anywhere" while looking up lyrics to songs by System of a Down. I thought that "Destination Anywhere" reminded me of a song I used to hear on the way back from work with Ben, but really it was the next song on my list, Chop Suey.

The harder I push the further I fall

If you'll excuse this post; I just feel like writing. :) Writing, then playing piano, then eating.
I used to tell pointless stories that people found more anticlimactic than amusing; I think I've fallen back into the habit.
My amusing experience from this morning starts last night: I was cleaning some miscellaneous socks that made it on to my floor somehow. I expressed my opinion that I thought I had been a bad roommate in as few words as possible and apologized promising I wouldn't snooze any more. Fast-forward: This morning I woke up a few times, but the most prominent time was when my roommate was blow-drying her hair - in our room. I didn't really care because I wasn't tired at this point; I just thought it was a curious gesture. I went back to sleep and sometime later my roommate must have been talking on the phone. All I know is that suddenly I was awake, and I knew what she had said. "I was a bad roommate this morning." It's nice to know my old sleeping habits are restored. " I blow-dried my hair in the room while my roommate was sleeping." Should I warn people that I typically wake up when people reference me?
I'm fond of my new ring tone. Part of that probably has nothing to do with the tone itself but lies in the sense of pride I feel knowing that I changed it without needing the screen to work. (I keep having dreams that it sometimes works or that the backlight is just turned off.) Either way, I like to pretend that I'm really sensitive to it now and won't miss any rings, since I never know when I have missed calls (leave messages!).
People had superpowers in my dream last night. Some people were good, and some weren't. I shot people. I kept having problems cocking the guns I used; they all seemed to cock in a different way. I'd be trying to look intimidating, but I'd be struggling to cock the gun. Amazing.
I thought I'd part my hair in a slight zig-zag last night after my shower. I woke up this morning and it looked like it had parted itself. After trying to switch it back to a normal part, I eventually gave up and pulled it back in a clip. Yay for trying new things...

When I awoke I was on the highway

http://widgets.yahoo.com/gallery/?author=816
hehe

And he's put them in boxes

I like my brother. No, really. He's pretty cool sometimes. Like today, for instance, I called him up with, "David...! I'm moving...! Want to help?" and he gave me an hour wait. Amazing. I'll have to buy him lunch or something.

Come downstairs and say hello

I have two stories today.
I decided to move last night. So I picked out some chocolates and, with the help of Cosmo's employees, put them in a cellophane bag with a green ribbon. I hid them in my bag. When I got home, I placed my coat and bag and shoes at the foot of my bed. I guess I wasn't really thinking because there's definitely a vent there that blows out nice warm air (hence why I place my jacket by it). Basically, when I removed the chocolates in the morning, they were completely liquified. They only oozed a bit, but when Carolyn, her friends, and I enjoyed them at lunch, they weren't a bit solid.
This story starts with last night as well. Before I decided to move, I needed to visit the Cannon center again. I was excited because I had come up with terms and conditions for my potential move-in. I was also wearing the shoes I borrowed from Carolyn that had no traction. The walkways were also covered in a very smooth layer of completely packed snow/ice. Nobody was around, and it was dark. So I slide a bit. Then I ran and slid. Then I ran and slid again. It was all very exciting. Today I decided that I might try the same. There were less walkways with this slick substance, but there were still a few. I passed a couple people then looked around. I double checked, and then I decided I was good to go. I slid. It was fun. Then I checked and slid again. The third time I didn't thoroughly check. I was by Broadbent and was just starting my slide when I noticed somebody entering the building behind the bush. As soon as I realized somebody was there (and, in fact, that I knew him), I fell. I landed on my left knee with my right leg suspended in the air. I waved awkwardly to Clark, my previous family home evening brother. He made some comment about it being slippery and I laughed awkwardly. I haven't slid since then, and I don't think I will until my ego heals. :) I have to admit, it was worth it for the story.

Swear I knew it all along

Can I say I was wrong? I might have been wrong. In the past 24 hours, I have consumed over 64 oz of water easy, and I think I feel better. I can't pinpoint exactly how, but I think I do. It's exciting to do something you don't think you can do. Anybody want to test me? It may take me a little while, but maybe I could do it. However, my fingers/toes are as numb as ever, and I don't think I'm anemic. It stinks because I think I'll have to retire my canvas shoes for the season.
I was able to employ google documents today. It was pretty exciting/useful.
So my brother definitely called and invited me to go to the creamery with him for lunch. Exciting, right? Too bad I'm not the least hungry. :/ Tricky. But it gets trickier. My roommate invited me to go to the creamery, too (Emma), so I invited her back to go with my brother, who she's never met. That puts me in a position of sorts. Now...to not be shy...or awkward...or scared. :P

I want to be so much more than this

I've had my ipod on shuffle today. I still don't believe it's random. "My Sundown" has come on twice today. It was slightly empowering.

A power of attorney or letter of attorney in common law systems or mandate in civil law systems is an authorization to act on someone else's behalf in a legal or business matter. The person authorizing the other to act is the "principal" or "grantor (of the power)", and the one authorized to act is the agent or "attorney-in-fact" [AIF]. The attorney-in-fact acts "in the principal's name" -- for example, by signing the principal's name to documents.

I'm upset with Wiktionary's liberal use of hyphens.

Today I woke up at 6:21 - suddenly. I do that sometimes, but typically I just go back to sleep - tired or not. This morning, though, I didn't. It was pretty handy that I had an 8 o'clock class today.

Make them disappear

I decided to not exist today since nobody knew I came home last night. It was going pretty well until I suddenly realized that I'm still here; 
my roomates are out there; and I  would like to use the restroom. Now I'm scared. (Maybe I can sneak out the back, but where to?)

Without saying goodbye

Tonight is a bad night to be tired. In 5 1/2 hours I will be on my way to the airport. Basically, all I need to do before then is pack and shower.

So, I decided I will miss having a home. Tomorrow I will no longer have one, and I think that makes me sad. So, I decided taking pictures of everything I'm going to miss here would be theraputic. I pretty much just wanted an excuse to stop packing and take pictures. I still don't want to leave. I'd be exciting if I just had a home.

Everybody thought they'd see me again. I didn't say goodbye to Sook, Ruth, Molly, Brittany, Mackenzie, Rachel, William, or...anybody? I said a half-goodbye to my sister Kim because I was really hoping Mom would drive me out to have dinner with her Thursday. I didn't see Ruthie at all because my mom forgot that Ruth wasn't supposed to call me; I was supposed to call her on her sister's old phone. Somebody just tell me that it's all okay; I feel like a thoughtless friend.

Now, I'm going to go outside alone, in the rain, with no jacket, to dig a hole to install my pity pool. If anybody would like to join me, I'll have a pity party some time tomorrow, but I'll probably end up having it alone.

I sometimes wonder if my sarcasm comes across in writings...

But really - I dislike complaining. Life is grand. Scary, but grand.

I still can't believe Carolyn's all right; I swear I talked to her last night...

Word of Wisdom is the Shizzum

Today I decided to give our annual See's candy assortment a try. I like less flavors than I dislike, so I thought it'd be wise to cheat. This is a rather embarrassing confession, as most people don't like to find that their candies have been tested or tampered with. In fact, my family likes to poke fun of my mom for her various ways of trying to figure out the insides of the chocolates. Just this once, though, I decided to mimic her method. I took a knife and carefully poked a hole in the bottom. At this point, the whole truffle exploded. Tricky. Luckily the contents looked safe, so I popped a piece in my mouth. In retrospect, it probably would have been wiser to have smelled it as well; it turned out to be some sort of coffee deal. Yuck. I won't give you the details as to how I extracted the thing from my mouth, but it wasn't fun. I think my relatives are trying to poison me. I mean, who sends a mormon family coffee bonbons? That's like temptation dipped in chocolate.
Sometimes I like adopting tones that don't really reflect my feelings. :)

I plan on sleeping in

One of the worst things to wake up to is a shouted, "Melissa, are you up?" I always feel compelled to answer to the affirmative, even if I'm in my bed, in my pajamas, two seconds out of an REM cycle. What makes it bad is that I can never go back to sleep after that. What if Mom were to come upstairs quietly to ask me a question, only to find me fast asleep hugging my pillow? Besides simply being awkward, it would be a breech of trust of sorts. But today, I heard Mom exit the house, so I went back to sleep relatively guilt-free.
I purchased a trippy shirt yesterday and am wearing it to meet my two conservative friends from high school. I don't always have to be perfectly comfortable, which makes me happy.
Sook called me before I called her today. Okay, so it's not that big of a deal, but it was still exciting.
Today I wanted to use Postal Service and Early November. It's time to go outside.

How angels ought to smell

I'm pretty excited: Mom consented to take me to the mall. I need a belt something awful.
L'Anita called back. This was also happy. We're on for some hard-core Zarahemla-ing on Wednesday. Holy toledo! I totally made a decision in about five seconds. I think I must think fastest when I first wake up. In fact, I was amazingly pleased with my casual-ness and real lack of awkward pauses. I hung up stunned.
Should I comment on my bold starting colon? I should.
This one time my mom kept insisting I try her bath and body works shampoo while I kept insisting I had been herbal essence deprived for six months. After a week of showering, however, I decided I could appease her. So I was about to grab the shampoo conditioner combo when I realized that there were actually four bottles - all green. This was going to be a war of the scents. It was pretty intense; I picked up the coconut lime shampoo and gave it a whiff. It was pleasant, but the cucumber melon beat it out, no contest.
I realized something: it's not the shampoo's smell that people ultimately smell when they say your hair smells good - it's the conditioner. The cucumber melon conditioner was a little less than satisfying. Due to this unfortunate event, I will impliment a new system: when trying to decide which hair product to purchase, I will now only compare the scents of the conditioners.